Hurt people, hurt people. We’ve all heard it before. And I’m sure we all have been guilty of it, at least once in our lives. I know I have, more times than I’d like to admit. But, it’s something about seeing someone, completely unrelated to your situation retaliate in such spite that makes you realize how ugly we all can get.
Spite, defined by The New York Times as “the urge to punish, hurt, humiliate, or harass another, even when one gains no obvious benefits and may well pay a cost”, is not only unproductive, but it is also detrimental to relationships, with others and your inner being. The way you react and respond to situations ultimately become a definition of your character.
If you ever find yourself in a position where somebody has hurt you and you want to retaliate, don’t! Retaliation only gives another person ammunition to continue to hurt you and justification. Here are some tips to get over your pain and ways to channel that energy into something more positive.
1.) Think before you react!– Before you take action on any negative emotion, take a moment to think about how you feel and why. Take some time, even days, and just think. Think about what it is that you really want and what you want the outcome to be. Also, think about what happens if you are not able to achieve your desired outcome and what happens after that. Then analyze how you feel and analyze if your planned reaction is helpful or harmful to yourself and your situation.
2.) Journal– Write it down. While you’re thinking, you should also try writing your feelings out. This way, not only are you able to release your pent up emotions, you also have the opportunity to go back once you have calmed down and reevaluate. This not only gives you an opportunity to release, but it also gives you a chance to grow.
3.) Work out- One of the best ways to blow off steam is to hit the gym. It has been scientifically proven that physical exercise (along with meditation, massages, sex and acupuncture) releases endorphins, which signals brain neurons to block pain and overall makes you feel better, more refreshed and relaxed. Researchers have stated that it is best to wait at least 60 mins after being upset to exercise if you have any pre-existing cardiovascular conditions.
4.) Go have some fun!– I’ve found that it is always helpful to do things that helps take your mind off of the issue. I know most people don’t recommend it, but if you can be responsible having a little fun with your friends, not talking about your problems, go for it! I would suggest not drinking or using any substances because it’s always best to deal with your emotions with a clear head. Substances, typically, reduces your reservations and you would hate to have all of your hard work, with not lashing out, go to waste. So extnay on the rugsday (next on the drugs)!
I hope some of these tips help the next time you’re ready to risk it all and stab somebody. If you have any questions, concerns or more tips comment below!